Time to Take Out The Trash

Folks … I apologize … for sounding … a little winded. I just got back from chasing down the trash truck. You see, my wife had some girlfriends over last night and my driveway was full when I got home. I parked my old truck on the street next to my garbage and recycling bins … and you guess the rest. Fortunately, I keep my shoelaces tied at all times and was able to retrieve my vehicle. Perhaps I should take an inventory of unnecessary body organs and contact some doctor in South America so I can go new car shopping. Perhaps not.
Speaking of trash, did you see where CARTA and Keep Charleston Beautiful are asking people and organizations to volunteer to routinely clean up litter around hundreds of bus stops in the city? This is similar to the “Adopt a Highway” program and it sounds like a good idea on first thought. Few people like trash along our roadsides. Then the second thought — are passing motorists targeting the bus stops for their thrown litter? Maybe the bus stop signs themselves are strangely magnetic in attracting trash.
No, the litterbugs are some of the people who use the public transportation service. I expect it’s only a minority of riders, but one intentionally dropped can, bottle, or food wrapper is one too many. I would not care to see the inside of their abodes. How much is this going to cost taxpayers in supplies and administrative costs? Wait, a thought just entered my mind — I do not really enjoy cutting my grass. Could I start an “Adopt David Altman’s Lawn” program? I will even provide the iced tea! Feel free to write me and I will schedule you in for next Saturday.
Speaking of busses and objects tossed from vehicles, what about those thugs who threw rocks and food at cars from their school bus? These delinquents could have caused grave harm by their criminal action. The slap on the wrist punishment they received from our school leaders is an insult. These individuals should be permanently banned from ever stepping on to a school bus again. Charges should be brought up by the police. If you or I were to get caught doing such a heinous act, I doubt we would be treated as if it was just a prank.
We all know that most of the entrenched politicians in Washington are out of touch with the common man. There is a simple test that could prove just how far they are removed from us and it would only take three questions. Without their aides present, ask them how much does a gallon of gas, a loaf of white bread, and a pound of 80% lean ground beef cost in their homes districts? I probably couldn’t correctly answer to the penny, but I expect that I could beat the vast majority of them. I am sure you could also.
Until next time, try not to park in the street on trash day, do not litter, and stay safe..
James David Altman lives in West Ashley and has been a contributing columnist for several publications. He’s the son of the late former S.C. Republican House of Representative of John Graham Altman III. You can reach him at rabidreb@gmail.com