The Sticky Widget

Some things never change. Human beings are creatures of habit. Studies show we often use the same bathroom stall over and over again, drive to work in the same route, even switching lanes at the same points along the way. Habits die hard and some never do. This is what the sticky widget is all about.
Last week, I was in Louisville visiting one of my best friends from college, Jess. As we sat around a fire pit telling stories and catching up on life with her and her friends, we came to the topic of relationships. Her friend, Theresa, was having a challenging time with her girlfriend who was a homebody. For the most part Theresa didn’t mind being a homebody but she did like to go out on special occasions. This was a point of conflict in their relationship. Theresa felt like she compromised by staying home often, but wanted a pass to hang out on these few and far between special occasions (i.e. holidays, birthdays, etc.) That’s when it hit me. This was Theresa’s sticky widget.
A sticky widget is that one issue in your relationship that is a deal-breaker. A sticky widget is a core part of what makes someone happy. If you love the other person, you have to accept them for who they are, sticky widget and all, or the relationship is doomed to fail.
Sticky widgets can be big or small. They can change with time. When my husband and I first moved in with each other, our sticky widgets had to do with living quarters. He had to accept I left shoes in every room of the house, while I accepted he wanted to keep every Tommy Hilfiger shirt he’d owned from the ’90s.
Now that we’ve worked out our living situation kinks (and we’ve slowly weeded out the Hilfiger from his closet), our sticky widgets have changed with each other. Right now, I have to accept that his new job is very demanding and for the first time in our relationship, I don’t get to see him very much. It’s really hard but I know his job is rewarding and makes him very happy.
When you love someone, you have to love ALL of them! And thank goodness, we do because no one is perfect. When you identify your sticky widgets, it almost makes it easier to get past them. Just recognizing the challenge can help you figure out a way to get over it or embrace it.
 
What’s the sticky widget in your relationship? Let Katie know at kewsolutionsinc@gmail.com.