Long Live The Uncleland

Eric Holder is shortly to step down from the office of Attorney General and I would like to wish him good … riddance!
In my opinion, the guy has been a political hack and a disgrace to the office. One of the only things that could top his departure, in my opinion, is to have another fence hopper at the White House. Hold on- no need to report me to the Secret Service. My wish is for President Obama to be the one vaulting over the back fence, suitcase and golf bag in hand. Whenever his Presidential Library is opened, I doubt if there will be a copy of the Constitution on the shelves. The numerous volumes of the Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto will take up too much room.
Enough of the heavy stuff for now … Some of you readers seem to enjoy the questions I pose from time to time. Here is another. Who came up with calling our country the “Homeland,” as in Homeland Security? Germany calls, or at least once called itself the “Fatherland.” Russia calls itself the “Motherland.” Since those parental monikers are taken, could we not have chosen another relative? How does the “Uncleland” sound?
The other day I pulled in next to a car in a shopping center and noticed a sticker on its side window. The decal looked like one of those issued by an alarm company and I stopped to read it. The words were, “Warning. tampering with my Cadillac will result in an a– whoopin’ you’ll never forget.” I made certain I did not even come close to brushing up against the vehicle. You never know when a trunk monkey will hop out of the back and carry out the threat.
Another sign caught my attention recently. It was at one of our local grocery stores whose rewards card can earn you fuel savings at the gas pump. I’ve taken advantage of the deal once or twice. The wording of the message was concise and I knew what the thought conveyed. However, it could be construed as having a double meaning. It read, “Turn groceries into gas.” I do not believe I need to explain any further.
Two fairly recent news stories gave me reason to pause. They both concerned two parcels of property on Savannah Highway whose owners wished to develop. The two plots are barely a block apart and one was slated to become a towing yard and the other is targeted for retail development. Opposition to the tow yard resulted in a halt to that endeavor and now there’s some opposition to the proposed retail idea. Whatever the motives of the vocal opponents may be, this seems to me to be an assault on personal property rights. What do you think?
Well, it’s time to end this weekly rambling and hit the send button to my editors. Thanks to those who send comments and keep reading these papers and supporting their advertisers. In closing, I am glad the Super Bowl and all the hype over under-inflated footballs has died down. However, it probably will not be too long before some politician proposes another “Brady Bill.”
James David Altman lives in West Ashley amd is  the son of the late former S.C. Republican House of Representative of John Graham Altman III. You can reach him at rabidreb@gmail.com.