Half Gallons and Half Brains

 
Folks, I had to disappoint my mother today. No, I did not trade the family cow for a handful of magic beans. (Given the price of beef, we had to eat the cow some time back). Understand that I did not intentionally go against her wishes. I meant good, but circumstances beyond my control were to blame.
Here is my sad tale. Mom called and asked if I would stop by the grocery store and pick up a half-gallon carton of orange juice. No problem I thought. Piece of cake. However, my visit to the refrigerated section of the store put me in a quandary. Orange juice is not sold in half-gallon cartons. I am pretty sure it used to be, but times have changed.
A half-gallon should be 64 ounces of fluid. Well, the waxed paperboard container only contains 59-ounces. I don’t recall seeing the headline of the shrinking cartons. Perhaps you too have noticed the smaller packaging of items? For example, good luck finding a half-gallon carton of ice cream. I also did a survey of canned vegetables in my cupboard and couldn’t find where any can was actually a pound. Thank goodness a gallon of gas is still a gallon of gas … I think. (I did buy the not-quite-a-half gallon of OJ).
Meandering along … there’s an old saying that someone is known by the company he keeps. President Obama is buddies with Al Sharpton. Just the other day he had the guy over to the White House to attend a small gathering to discuss civil rights. Anyone with half a brain knows that Sharpton is a hate-mongering race baiter. He has been called worse. I would be interested in seeing who foots the bills for this fellow to constantly travel around and fan the flames of serious discord.
Back to Obama, except to appease the far left elements of his party, why would he choose to associate himself with such a base individual? I will admit to having a close-although misguided- friend who believes that when he is not out on the golf course, Obama spends his spare time walking on water. I used to ask his father just how many times the boy was dropped on his head as a baby?
Well, I need to wrap this up until next time. I need to go check and see if my newly purchased yardstick is a full 36 inches and my carton of eggs is a true twelve count. I suggest you do the same.
James David Altman lives in West Ashley and is  the son of the late former S.C. Republican House of Representative of John Graham Altman III. You can reach him at rabidreb@gmail.com.