Coping with the Utility Tax (a.k.a. Franchise Fees)

Local governments salivate when they think of the inevitable annual increases in utility bills such as electricity, phone services, and cable television. They actually drool when the rate hikes are put into effect. I’ve suspected for some time now that some of the Crosstown flooding is caused by the collective jowl drippings by the City of Charleston. What on earth do I mean by this?
In two words: franchise fees.
Most of us probably don’t read the details of our bills too closely because they’re intentionally written to confuse. We just write our checks or have our bank accounts drafted so we can enjoy television, not have to stumble around in the dark, and call or text whoemever we please.
Because I tend to ramble on, allow me to digress … When I was growing up, cable TV didn’t exist and portable communication devices were only seen on weekly Star Trek episodes. Electricity had been discovered, but we didn’t use it for such things as microwave ovens, video games, or central air conditioning. Have you ever thought about how much of your weekly paycheck is eaten up by these pleasures and conveniences?
To get back on track, franchise fees are basically rental charges imposed by governments for allowing telephone poles on right of ways. The utilities that own and use the poles are allowed to pass this “fee” onto consumers. The St. Andrew’s Public Service District, for example, uses SCE&G to collect a one percent tribute on our home energy use. I thought this was bad until I learned that that the City of Charleston imposed a five percent “sales tax.” They will not call it such, but it walks and talks like a duck and therefore must be. I have not made the leap to satellite television and so I don’t know if the taxing powers that be have found a way to charge for atmospheric rental. If they haven’t, give them time.
Sure, if you, I, or government entities owned a swath of land that was being used by someone else, we might be expected to be compensated, However, these are trying economic times and a compassionate government could certainly find a formula where we are not additionally punished in the pocketbook every time we’re hit by rate increases. These one and five percent taxes do add up.
While on the subject of telephones and such, anyone who knows me knows that I do not like to talk and drive. I rarely make a call or answer when on the road. One friend is annoyed that I don’t answer his calls and asked me why I don’t get a bluetooth. Not being technologically savvy, I responded that were I to get a bluetooth, I would need to see a dentist.
James David Altman lives in West Ashley and has been a contributing columnist for several publications. He’s the son of the late former S.C. Republican House of Representative of John Graham Altman III. You can reach him at rabidreb@gmail.com.